And the result is: CRANKY.

We have found ourselves being cranky toward one another. We are not fighting--it's more the case of little snipes back and forth. As Ray puts it, "The stress is up and the rituals are down." What he means is that life has encroached and the first to go were the things that feed our relationship. For instance, we were at our best when we had all kinds of rituals in place: a cup of tea (alone!) before bed, the daily reading of our marriage calendar, sweet notes to each other (often straight out of Song of Songs), the positioning of our people on the bed after it's made, regular sushi dinners (alone!), general affection.

These are habits we developed several years ago in response to sharing our deepest needs with each other. Bit by bit, they have fallen by the wayside. Sushi dinners are out of the question until our finances improve, but all the other rituals are free. While we have noticed their disappearance, and have voiced concern over it, we have yet to reinstate them as habits. A sort of indifference has taken root. So, now we have decided to make a plan.

And here's our plan: revive the rituals one at a time. Some will be easier than others. The bed is made every day so the people will be easy to start placing again. We are still drinking tea at night; we will just need to make it a more personal and private time again. Maybe we could leave the marriage calendar where we can see it so we will remember to read it. And the notes...well, we just really need to try hard to remember to write each other sweet notes. That's the biggie--the notes. It's the sweet words that make us feel valuable and worthy and considered and loved. Look at the amazingly wonderful words God wrote for us! They make us feel valuable and worthy and considered and loved. And touching, touching! How can we forget to give each other little physical reminders that we are not alone? Of these rituals, the last two will take the most focus and determination.

But do it we will! Because we love! And, because the other place was a far nicer place to live.